Marriage is one of the most critical relationships in life. This is an association where people come together with the goal of spending the rest of their life together. At the beginning, most of the marriages are filled with happiness and satisfaction.
However, as time moves most of the marriages face challenges to the extent that most couples decide to part ways. When faced with such challenges it is possible to have one of the partners trying to save the marriage while the other wants it to end. Below are strategies on how to save a marriage when only one is trying.
1. Keep up the fight
If you are faced with the situation that you are the only one interested in saving your marriage, this is a great crisis. It might reach a point you feel you want to let it go too. However, this will not be of any benefit to your marriage especially if you have children who need both parents in order to grow well. You might have done all the best to speak with your partner without any success. If it is about a week or even one month that you tried convincing your partners why your marriage should stand, you need to put another attempt.
This is necessary because their perceptions might have changed for the better and you might get positive response from them. Do not be afraid to start a helpful conversation that you feel will work for the good of your marriage. As you make this attempt, you need to apply a different strategy or something you have not tried earlier. For instance, if you had never tried expressing the strong feeling of love and care you have towards them, do so now. The rule here is never to give up and every time try a new approach and you will succeed at the end.
2. Be focused on what is ailing your marriage
To reach to the extent that your partner wants your marriage to end, there must be issue/issues troubling it. In all your attempts to save the marriage, you need to be more focused on that issue or issues. Try to show your partner that it is possible to overcome such challenges and have a happy life afterwards.
Your partner might be feeling that there is nothing that can work, but you have to be there to make them open up their mind. Try to ensure that as you discuss those issues with your partner, there is no blame game. Focus on why such issues should never be allowed to bring your marriage to an end. If possible, remind them of great times that you have had together. This is necessary to bring in positive in their mind and find something worth to allow your marriage to move on.
3. Have a time frame
You might not come into an agreement during your discussion, but it is necessary for both of you to come up with a time frame to evaluate the progress made. It might be hard to convince your partner to love you like before. However, you can request them to give you, say three months of their time.
Convince them that during this time you will put all efforts to be the kind of a person that your partner will love to be married to. If there are improvements, you can both extend the time frame to three more months. At the end, you will be amazed to find that your partner has changed their mentality to give up in your marriage.
4. Let change and improvement start with you
In case your spouse agrees to set a time frame, you have the best opportunity to make things work again. Take your time to find where you need to change your attitudes, behaviors, reaction to issues and so forth.
If your spouse finds that you are becoming a better person they expect to share their life with, this will also trigger them to make positive changes too. In the end, both of you will make positive changes that will save your marriage.
5. Try to take back your spouse where you started together
Most marriages remain strong when couples figure out where they began their journey. If you are the only one trying to save your marriage, you have the responsibility to take back your spouse where you both began your relationship. Your spouse might have a lot of anger, making it hard even for them to recall such times.
Bring back the sweet memories, the journey you have traveled together, the good things that have happened, challenges you have faced together to be where you are and the dream you had when you began your relationship. Bringing in sweet memories of your marriage to your spouse is a recipe to making them rethink and find why your marriage should hold together.
6. Seek the help of a marriage counselor
Whenever your marriage is in a crisis you should never fear to approach a marriage counselor. During the time that your spouse feels that your marriage should come to an end, they might not even want to listen to you. However, they might be open to listening to other people and this is where a marriage counselor should come in. Approach a counselor whom you feel your spouse will be willing to meet and open up to, so that you can book an appointment.
If possible, explain what is going on in your marriage to the counselor and allow that for the first time you are not present when your spouse meets with the counselor. After that, plan for an appointment with the counselor together and be open on one another with the counselor being the facilitator. A counselor has the ability to allow both of you open up to each other and solve the issues affecting your marriage in a healthier manner.
7. Take your time
There is the saying that time is the best healer. This is true especially when it comes to relationships. You can also try this strategy if you are the only one trying to save your marriage. Give your spouse time without making them get so much involved in matter concerning your marriage.
Give them time to reflect and recollect themselves to find if they come back to their senses. This strategy is more effective if you realize that your partner has a lot of emotions making them want to quit the marriage.
8. Face the reality
You might apply all the above strategies, but still find out that your spouse is still very reluctant. What should you do now? This is the best time to face the reality because it might be hard for you to force yourself to them. You need to sit down and put your priorities right as an individual and a marriage partner. If you have children consider how the issues affecting your marriage are affecting them.
Take your time to think if this is just a temporary problem or is the end of your marriage. Consider the best and worst things that might affect you if you also decide to quit or still hold on to your marriage. As you do all these, try to involve your spouse too, so that you can think together. Be true to yourselves and you will find the best solution to your marriage.